Saturday Night

Mike and I had an amazing time at dinner with my friends. He continued to impress me with his easy manner and comfort in any situation. Then again, he is a salesman. At one point when he excused himself to go to the men's room, my visiting friend, Robin, said to me, "He's obviously in love with you. The way he looks at you - he drinks you in."

I was pleased at the observation but also a bit skeptical. "Do you really think so? Because, I'm really falling for him in a big way. But it's all happening so fast."

Robin and I had met at work just 3 months before I kicked my now ex-husband out of the house in 1999. She had seen me go through some pretty horrific times. During that same time, my father was dying from a brain tumor. We had become pretty close as co-workers tend to do and she had witnessed my retreat into emotional limbo. She also knew me as a rather methodical, analytical, engineer. My life at that time was all about work and my children.

So that night at dinner she said to me, "Ann, I have never seen you look happier. You are absolutely glowing. The two of you seem like you're truly meant for each other. Just let it happen."

Later that night, Darcie returned home from her own enchanted evening. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen on her face. I wondered if that was how I looked to everyone (I knew it was how I felt). In this world of broadly defined "families" Darcie and I had often compared ourselves to the Gilmore Girls. So it didn't seem the least bit odd that we were both experiencing the headiness of love at the same time. Although it wasn't the first time for me, I knew it was uniquely different. It was the first time for true love.

Sadly, that was also Mike's last night in Dallas. He would be returning to Denver early Sunday afternoon. As we had done so often that weekend, we sat with his arms wrapped around me, my head nestled into his chest. I was struck by the overwhelming peace I felt when in his arms. I wanted desperately to tell him that I loved him but I forced the words to stop short just as they reached my lips. I didn't want to freak him out. It was a feeling I had experienced many times over the past 3 days. But how could that be? I knew beyond doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him but could he possibly feel the same way. Had it hit him as hard as it had me? Wasn't love at first sight just a cliche? Then again, this wasn't first sight. But he lived in Denver while I lived in Dallas. Long distance relationships never work out.

I know I've left so much out of this story - the conversations we had, the way I caressed his neck while he drove, the little curl in his hair just behind his right ear, that I loved to wrap around my finger. I've left out how his smile turned me to mush and his eyes made me light-headed. And I've neglected to tell how every time he kissed me (yes, there were more kisses after that first one) my body trembled. It's so hard to describe feelings when the word "love" is not enough. My feelings for Mike touched me at the very center of my being. And tomorrow he would be gone.