Thanksgiving

Before long it was Thanksgiving Day, our first holiday together as well as our first holiday apart. I had gotten a new cell phone the night before. It was charged and ready and I was anxious to try it out. I came home from church to find a beautiful email from Mike expressing his thanks that God had brought us together. I replied in kind and followed up with a phone call on my new phone. It was harder than I expected not to spend the day with Mike. He was hosting dinner at his house and preparing all the food as well. I was so impressed that he was cooking the entire Thanksgiving dinner while I, on the other hand, was dining out with my sister and her family. Although I used to prepare a huge annual feast for 12+ people, those days had ended with my divorce. Mike and I agreed that we would spend the next Thanksgiving together if at all possible.

Later that night I transferred phone numbers into my new phone. When I got to Mike's name, I had to smile. I added a heart icon, the ringtone Missing You and put him in speed dial #2. He would have been #1 but it was reserved for voice mail. I suffered the slightest pangs of guilt when I put his home number into speed dial #3 thus bumping my children to the 4 and 5 positions. Being Catholic, guilt is a familiar emotion but even after 48 years, it still gives me pause and forces me to examine the cause. This may seem kind of strange (then again, I've often been told I am, indeed, strange) but the simple act of putting Mike in the first 2 spots in my speed dial told me that I was truly ready to move on with my life. It did not imply that my children were losing their place as my number one priority. It just meant that the time had come to begin letting go of motherhood and to start planting the seeds for my own growth. I know, I know, once a mother always a mother. But the child-rearing phase was in its final stages. As soon as Darcie left for college, my options would be wide open. The thought was both exhilarating and frightening.

Distance, Death, and Depression

Love and particularly long-distance love had me looking at life through a different lens. Time, especially, took on a whole new meaning. Death is never easy and the Lord knows I have experienced my share over my many years. But when the news came that the mother of one of Darcie's friends had died, it hit me very hard. She had been diagnosed with cancer in January yet it was inconceivable that she lost her battle within 10 short months. At the risk of being cliché, I was overcome with the reminder that we have no guarantees. It made being apart from Mike even more difficult. I began to resent the days that were passing while 892 miles separated us.

I had vowed to myself that I would always be upbeat during my phone conversations with Mike. Who wants to talk to someone who's depressed? It was a vow that I was finding difficult to maintain. I should probably mention that I was in the throes of menopause (and still am BTW) with ALL the inherent symptoms - the worst of which, for me, at least, was depression. Tears would suddenly erupt from my eyes and I was overwhelmed with an inexplicable melancholy that couldn't be shaken. This had been going on for over a year and a half and was getting progressively more intense. Although my vow to be upbeat was practically a newborn (less than a month old at this point in the relationship) the hormonal demon made it impossible to follow through.

Our conversations over the next few days took a downhill turn and I found it difficult to sort through the tangle of emotions I was feeling. Don't get me wrong, there were no cruel words exchanged. There was no anger. Our love was in tact and unscathed. But the enormity of the challenges we were facing with a long-term, long-distance relationship were beginning to hit home. I felt like I had become a piece of paper jammed in a shredder - part of me whole and strong from my new-found love, another part of me shredded to bits in the bottom of the bin. After all, I had not even dealt with the day-to-day struggles of a normal relationship for a very long time. This one had the additional elements of distance, children and that dreaded menopause.

I truly didn't know how I was going to make it until Mike's next visit, which was still nearly two weeks away. He managed to always say the right things to keep me going and so we plodded on.

Racking Up the Minutes

Each day we exchanged emails and each night we talked, always with me calling Mike after 9:00 PM. With each communication I was bursting with love, and the concerns of meeting his children faded into the background. It became apparent that waiting for free cell time was not going to work long-term. As it happened, our cell phone contracts were ending at about the same time so we decided to get on a plan that would allow us to talk anytime for free.

Mike lives in the foothills just east of the Rockies so not every service worked at his house. We decided to see if he could get Sprint service there since that's what I already had. As a bonus, his daughter's boyfriend had Sprint and they would be able to talk for free as well. It took a couple of days but the decision was made. I bought a new cell phone and renewed my contract and Mike signed on as a new customer. If Sprint ever quits allowing people within the Sprint network to talk for free, we just might be to blame. Now Mike could call me during his morning and afternoon drive time. And that's exactly what he did. We talked in the morning, we talked in the afternoon, and we talked at night. We talked for hours on the weekends. We even watched football games together over the phone. It wasn't long before we were talking over 3000 minutes a month. We never seemed to tire of talking to each other and we never ran out of things to talk about. Thanks to this wonderful technological age, we were able to breach the distance and get to know each other in great detail.

Long Distance Concerns

While continuing the countdown, we talked daily, after eagerly awaiting the 9:00 PM Central strike of the clock. In a conversation on November 11th, Mike told me his kids were eager to meet me. They recognized that our relationship had become very serious in a short period of time. We also discussed how difficult it was going to be to be apart for the holidays. So while on the phone, we got on Travelocity and made the decision for me to visit Denver right after Christmas. We booked a flight for December 27th. Unfortunately, I had to return to Dallas on December 31st so we wouldn't get to spend New Year's Eve together. But again, I was grateful for whatever time we could steal. No sooner were the arrangements made than I began to fret over what his kids would think of me.

Having been divorced with no intentions of EVER remarrying, I hadn't given much thought to "blended families". Now, suddenly, I was worrying about how Mike's kids would feel about a woman in their father's life. So much of Mike's and my circumstances were similar but in this regard the difference was noteworthy. I had made a conscious choice to end my marriage. It was a decision my children had come to understand and appreciate over the years. They still had a father and were able to maintain a relationship with him despite not having typical visitation arrangements. Mike's children, on the other hand, had their mother ripped from their lives suddenly and unexpectedly. Mike had had a fairly serious relationship several years ago so I knew it wasn't really new territory for them. My greatest concern, and as it turned out, rightfully so, was the issue of long distance. This wasn't just a long distance relationship for me and Mike, it was a long distance relationship for our children as well.

By this time, Mike and I were pledging our undying and eternal love for each other. We were already discussing our commitment to spend the rest of our lives together for we believed truly and deeply that this was our destiny. We considered ourselves fortunate that our children were older and could appreciate our love. How naive we were. Almost immediately, Mike's children began to express their concerns that I lived in Dallas. Mike and I continued on with the belief that love would conquer all. His comment was full of conviction. "It will all work out. It's meant to be."

Confirmed

It was a few hours later on Wednesday that I received the following email with a Subject line: Confirmed.

Hi Baby,

Well, I just took the plunge for our next weekend together. Call me and we can discuss.

Love,
Mike

Since our phone calls typically lasted over an hour, the plan we had worked out was for me to call Mike's house after 9:00 PM Central time. I would call from my cell phone so the call was free. I know it seems silly but it was a challenge to wait for the clock to strike 9:00. At 9:00:03 I dialed my phone and heard Mike's very sexy voice. "Hi baby, when are you coming back?" I asked immediately.

He laughed in that way that warmed me all over. "How does December 8th sound?"

"Far away, but I'll take it. I can't wait to see you again. I can't believe how hard this is. Can we really manage a long distance relationship? How will I survive until I see you again?"

"Hold on," he chuckled. "We'll do this one day at a time. If we want it bad enough, we can make it work. I'm not disregarding all the challenges we have ahead of us, some of which we have yet to discover, but together, we can overcome any obstacle. I'm very confident about that!"

His words reassured me but I also felt like my body would burst. I literally ached to feel his arms around me again. I wanted nothing more than to be curled up next to him with my head on his chest. Missing him was visceral. I wish I shared his confidence but the truth was, I felt like I might explode with the need to be near him again. Like a prisoner might do while waiting to be released, I figured out how many hours it would be before Mike's arrival and I started the countdown.

Tyler Roses

Wednesday morning my doorbell rang unexpectedly. To my surprise and delight, there was a bouquet of roses so large, I could barely see the delivery woman. I brought them inside and tore open the card. "Thanks for a memorable weekend. All my love, Mike." My fears that Mike's feelings had changed once he got home, were diminishing. A lot of people are familiar with the famous Tyler roses but you can't appreciate their incredible beauty until you receive them in real-life. These were the biggest, most gorgeous roses I had ever seen. I often find myself speaking in superlatives when I refer to things having to do with Mike but I am sincere.

I immediately sat down and wrote him an email to try to express my feelings.

My Dear Sweet Mike,

You are the most wonderful man I have ever known. Please believe I am sincere when I say that. I love you more than I ever imagined was humanly possible. When I gave birth to Trent, and truth be told from the moment I found out I was pregnant, I felt an all-encompassing love. It increased exponentially when Darcie was born. It is a love without anger; selfless, pure, understanding and ever-forgiving. I thought that kind of love only existed between a parent and child. Or if it could exist between a man and a woman, I was incapable of feeling it because of some flaw in my character. I realize now that it was neither a lack of existence nor a personal flaw, it was just outside of my experience. Mike, I have found that love with you. The adjectives are insufficient, the language weak, but the feelings I have for you are so powerful, I have to learn how to manage them.

You are the last thing I think about when I fall asleep and the first image in my mind when I wake. Be assured that I am smiling all the while. Even as tears fill my eyes for the want of being in your arms, my heart is filled with joy. Thank you for changing my life and showing me that true love really does exist.

And lest I forget the original purpose of this email, thank you for the beautiful flowers. You may be getting tired of hearing me say these things, but flowers have never meant so much to me before. I touched them, caressed them, stared at them, and sat next to them. I read your sweet note and loved it. The universe or at least my universe, has shifted to a place more brilliant, colorful and glorious. I told Trent tonight that I am happier than I have ever been in my life.

I am counting the days until we are together again.

All my love,

AC

Not only was I counting the days, but the hours and the minutes as well.

Would He Change His Mind?

After spending the day listening to love songs, smiling, crying and aching for Mike's presence, I decided to call Paul and fill him in on the weekend. He was not the least bit surprised to hear that I was madly in love. Paul is a man of few words yet strong convictions. Unbeknownst to me, he had been campaigning on my behalf for years. He said he had known all along, since those college days in fact, that Mike and I belonged together. He decided to take advantage of their extended time together at the reunion to revisit and really press the issue. I couldn't thank him enough for his persistence. Mike and I had agreed over the weekend that we really owed Paul.

But now on the phone, my insecurities were poking me in the ribs. "Do you think Mike feels the same way I do?" I asked. "I mean, the weekend was incredible, but maybe he's changed his mind. After all, the long distance thing is crazy. Isn't it?"

Paul just chuckled. "I've already spoken to Mike and he sounds exactly like you - madly in love, yet fearful that you don't feel the same way. You two are a case."

"It's just so hard to believe. It seems unreal. Me... in love... and with Mike of all people. Who'da ever thought?"

When we hung up, I was reassured that all was well.

Over the next several days, Mike and I wrote emails and spoke on the phone and by Wednesday he had booked his next trip to Dallas. He would return on December 8th. I began counting the hours - literally!

Share Your Stories

I'm going to take a break from my story today to do something a little different. I'd like to invite everyone to share with me and the other readers, their own stories of their long distance relationships. I'd like to start posting other stories and ideas on how to maintain and cope with LDRs. My goal is have this be a comprehensive resource for the over 10,000,000 couples (that's right, 10,000,000) who live in this crazy LDR world.

I've found that writing our story has had some unexpected benefits as well. It makes me feel closer to Mike, I get to relive all the incredible moments and experience the same emotions I did when they first occurred, and it reminds me why I love him so much and how worth-it it is to keep going. And perhaps equally valuable, our story may help others have hope and insight into overcoming the challenges of long distance love.

For me, music has made a big difference in my ability to cope with the long spans of separation. A classic tune like Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers, which Mike and I have danced to more than once, whisks me right into his arms. Remember that tear-jerking scene in the movie Ghost? Well, it's a lot like that. Only, lucky for me, I know I will really be in Mike's arms again. In that light, I have created two stores dedicated to LDRs, love, and romance. One, The LDR Store, is primarily for books, magazines, movies, and cell phones. After all, communication is key! The other is music - Romantic Music and Love Songs, many of which speak about long distance love.

So, do yourself and perhaps the other 20 million of us a favor and share your stories, your tips and anything else that comes to mind. I look forward to hearing from you.

The Morning After

It had been less than 7 weeks since I turned 47. In all those years I had experienced the gamut of love - puppy love, first love, lust disguised as love, committed love otherwise known as marriage, and maternal love. I had come to believe that true love was a thing of fiction - a creation of authors and screenwriters. I was willing to give that maybe, perhaps, in some small fraction of humanity, there were people who believed they had met their soul mates. I was also convinced that I could and would never be one of those people. I won't say I was the world's biggest cynic but I was pretty close.

So it was certainly a personal paradigm shift to feel the way I did over the last few days. And now that Mike was gone, I felt like a part of me was missing. I had never felt anything so intense in my entire life. Having just admitted my cynicism regarding love, it may seem ironic for me to turn around and say that I love romance (One can always have hope, right? But that's a whole other topic). I also have a passion for music. I can't say I have a huge CD collection but it is respectable and eclectic. Since there was no possible way I could get Mike off of my mind and I was totally immersed in feeling the most intense love of my existence, I decided to make a CD of romantic songs. Every song I listened to seemed more appropriate than the one before. Like a baby beginning to explore the world, I listened with new ears and a new heart. There were so many songs that conveyed exactly how I was feeling. How perfect to begin with a Collin Raye song called The Walls Came Down. After all, the carefully constructed walls that had protected my heart for so long, had crumbled the instant I laid eyes on Mike at the airport. One of the most romantic CDs I have ever heard is Visions of Love by Jim Brickman. I selected several songs from that one, including Love of My Life and After All These Years. I added several cuts from CDs by Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Celine Dion and many others. I had filled 2 CDs and decided that was enough for now.

I listened to those CDs over and over and each time I did, my eyes filled with tears. I began to wonder if Mike really felt the same way I did, or if, once home, the love would fade. This was my first long distance relationship so I didn't really know what to expect. I only knew I was in agony wondering if and when I would see Mike again.

Saying Goodbye

I awoke on Sunday morning with an incongruous combination of euphoria and dread. I had never felt love like this before but the fantasy weekend was coming to an end. Mike was leaving at 3:00 that afternoon.

I sing in my church choir so we got ready and went to church. After returning home, we only had time for Mike to pack and we had to head for the airport. I sat with him as he put his things in his suitcase. I was determined to keep it light so I talked to him about my chorus and the fact that we were going to Las Vegas the following October to compete in the Sweet Adeline's International competition. He surprised me by saying he wanted to go with me. I said,"Are you serious? That's nearly a year away."

"I love Vegas," he responded. "I think it would be fun. Count me in."

OK, call me crazy, but I took this as his way of telling me he was interested in pursuing a relationship. My heart fluttered. But again, the long distance thing reared its ugly head. What was I thinking? And anyway, he hadn't said those three little words. Did that really matter? The feelings were there. At least they were for me and if my woman's intuition was on target, they were there for Mike as well. During one of our many discussions that weekend, Mike revealed that he had had a huge crush on me in high school but that he was too shy to say anything. I found it difficult to believe and I told him so, but he was insistent. Could it be that Mike's shyness and my proper 70's training had prevented us from getting together 30 years ago? Would we let it happen again?

As we drove to the airport, I repeatedly curled Mike's hair around my finger with one hand and held his hand with the other. I was going to miss this. I had quickly become accustomed to feeling Mike's hand wrapped around mine and I didn't want to ever let go. The panic in me rose with each passing mile. I asked Mike to consider staying and he laughed and said he wished he could.

"Why did you have to book such an early flight?" I asked with a girlish pout.

Mike's smile was sheepish as he said, "Honestly, I was a little afraid of how things would go. I didn't want to overstay my welcome in case it wasn't going well. I had no idea how amazing it would be. This entire weekend has been magical."

I waited expectantly for him to continue. Say it, say it, say it. Time is running out. But he didn't say anything more.

We were rounding the bend in the freeway just prior to the airport entrance. I couldn't stand it another minute. At this point, what did I have to lose. One of the best things about middle age is the willingness to take risks that may have seemed unthinkable 20 years earlier. I took the plunge.

"Mike," I began, "we have been dancing around this issue the entire weekend and now you're leaving. Countless times I have stopped myself from saying it, but here goes. I've fallen in love with you."

"Oh thank God! I wasn't sure if you were feeling the same things I was. I love you too."

Our first declaration of love took place just outside of the toll gate to the Dallas airport. How appropriate since we would traverse this territory over and over again.

We got to the baggage check-in and I was about to lose it when I heard Pam's words play in my head. "Whatever you do, don't cry when he leaves. Men hate that. Keep it light."

We hugged, we kissed, I smiled. Inside, I felt like I was dying. Mike promised to come back soon as I got back into my car. I couldn't bring myself to drive away while he was still in sight so I watched him as he walked through the glass doors. By this time the tears were streaming down my face. Just then, Mike turned to look at me. He pressed his lips against the glass in one final kiss. He got on the escalator and was gone.

Saturday Night

Mike and I had an amazing time at dinner with my friends. He continued to impress me with his easy manner and comfort in any situation. Then again, he is a salesman. At one point when he excused himself to go to the men's room, my visiting friend, Robin, said to me, "He's obviously in love with you. The way he looks at you - he drinks you in."

I was pleased at the observation but also a bit skeptical. "Do you really think so? Because, I'm really falling for him in a big way. But it's all happening so fast."

Robin and I had met at work just 3 months before I kicked my now ex-husband out of the house in 1999. She had seen me go through some pretty horrific times. During that same time, my father was dying from a brain tumor. We had become pretty close as co-workers tend to do and she had witnessed my retreat into emotional limbo. She also knew me as a rather methodical, analytical, engineer. My life at that time was all about work and my children.

So that night at dinner she said to me, "Ann, I have never seen you look happier. You are absolutely glowing. The two of you seem like you're truly meant for each other. Just let it happen."

Later that night, Darcie returned home from her own enchanted evening. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen on her face. I wondered if that was how I looked to everyone (I knew it was how I felt). In this world of broadly defined "families" Darcie and I had often compared ourselves to the Gilmore Girls. So it didn't seem the least bit odd that we were both experiencing the headiness of love at the same time. Although it wasn't the first time for me, I knew it was uniquely different. It was the first time for true love.

Sadly, that was also Mike's last night in Dallas. He would be returning to Denver early Sunday afternoon. As we had done so often that weekend, we sat with his arms wrapped around me, my head nestled into his chest. I was struck by the overwhelming peace I felt when in his arms. I wanted desperately to tell him that I loved him but I forced the words to stop short just as they reached my lips. I didn't want to freak him out. It was a feeling I had experienced many times over the past 3 days. But how could that be? I knew beyond doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him but could he possibly feel the same way. Had it hit him as hard as it had me? Wasn't love at first sight just a cliche? Then again, this wasn't first sight. But he lived in Denver while I lived in Dallas. Long distance relationships never work out.

I know I've left so much out of this story - the conversations we had, the way I caressed his neck while he drove, the little curl in his hair just behind his right ear, that I loved to wrap around my finger. I've left out how his smile turned me to mush and his eyes made me light-headed. And I've neglected to tell how every time he kissed me (yes, there were more kisses after that first one) my body trembled. It's so hard to describe feelings when the word "love" is not enough. My feelings for Mike touched me at the very center of my being. And tomorrow he would be gone.

Darcie's First Date

Tonight was the night! Darcie was going on her first date to the Homecoming dance. We had bought a stunning dress for her and by prior arrangement my best friend, Pam and her daughter, Amy were coming over to help with hair and make-up. The entire scene was reminiscent of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy got her makeover. Mike took pictures of the three women buzzing around Darcie like honey bees. When all was done, my little girl was breath-taking. I had never seen her look more beautiful. I knew Brad, her date, would be knocked over and I was so excited for her. None of us were surprised when his eyes popped upon seeing her. After much picture-taking and promises of safe driving (I'm always a mom), we sent them on their way. Pam and Amy packed up their supplies and headed off as well.

Mike and I were alone at last. It was then I realized what a sight I must be. Knowing that I would cry over Darcie's big night, I had opted not to put on any make-up. I can hear you women gasping at the thought. Here I was, trying to make a good impression, and I was bare-faced. Chalk it up to the years Mike and I had known each other. Or the fact that I had never worn make-up in high school. Or that I really am crazy. But it didn't seem to matter. It's hard to describe the level of comfort I felt with Mike. I was breaking all the rules - my own as well as those that are commonly accepted.

As fate would have it, a good friend of mine who had moved away nearly a year ago, was in town for the weekend. By this time I had introduced Mike to so many people that I was hesitant to drag him out to meet yet more. But we did have to eat after all and my friends were gathering for dinner. Being the sweet, amenable guy that he is, he agreed, so we got dressed - make-up included (for me, at least), and off we went. I wondered what would happen if we ever had some real time alone. I wouldn't mind another one of those incredible kisses!

Homecoming

I've been so caught up in telling the story of me and Mike that I have neglected a very relevant sub-story. You may recall that my original invitation to Mike was partially motivated by my daughter's Homecoming football game. This year was more exciting than ever because Darcie would be going on her first real date. I knew I would be teary-eyed (remember, I'm an emotional Italian).

Friday was Ranger day at Jesuit - a day of fun and games involving both Jesuit and Ursuline (Darcie's school) students. The school day ended early so Darcie and some of her friends, including her date, congregated at our house before the big game. Mike and I had a blast talking with them. We both felt so young again. We were sitting at the fireplace holding hands when Darcie's best friend, Amanda said, "Oh, look how cute they are. They've only been together 24 hours and they're already holding hands!" I busted out laughing. Only 24 hours! I had been waiting 30 years!

An annual Texas-style barbeque is part of the Homecoming tradition at Jesuit so Mike and I headed to the high school. I had attended 6 of these alone and I have to say, it was so much more fun with Mike by my side. After dinner, we walked to the stadium and set up our seats in my usual place near the band. As other parents trickled in they were surprised to see me with someone. I was giddy as I introduced Mike, whose hand I was still holding, by the way. There was just no wiping the happiness off my face. We explained that we were old high school buddies but the looks we got back were skeptical. I think we looked like more than buddies by this time. When Mike went to the concession stand, all the mom's said how gorgeous he was and how happy I looked.

Near the end of the third quarter we decided to stretch our legs a bit so we went for a walk. We walked along the fence through the masses of students until we reached the corner of the end zone. We stood facing each other and Mike took both my hands in his. Suddenly, we were the only two people in the world. There was no football game, there was no band, there was no mass of students anywhere near. My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest as I gazed into Mike's eyes like a moonstruck teenager. He took my face in his hands and finally, unbelievably, he kissed me. And I felt nothing, empty, what was the big deal.

Just kidding. For the first time in my life I understood the phrase, "the earth moved". I actually trembled. I could barely keep my knees from buckling beneath me. Forget self-control. I was lost!

Desires

Mike moved from the chair to the couch so finally I was sitting next to him. I breathed in his heavenly scent. I could practically feel the pheromones assaulting my senses. My body literally tingled as we gazed into each others' eyes and continued to get reacquainted. How was I able to carry on a conversation when the only thing running through my head was kiss me, kiss me, kiss me? I was transported back to the living room of my childhood home where Mike and I had spent so many nights studying Chemistry and talking about life and love. Gone was the woman who had the strength to end a marriage of 18 years. Gone was the woman who proudly defied the need for a relationship with a man. Gone was the woman who had steeled her heart and built walls no man could penetrate. In her place was a girl of sixteen, trying to show the handsome senior that she was interested in him (as if leaping into his arms at the airport were not demonstrative enough). Would he get the message this time?

As if reading my mind, Mike slipped his arm around me and pulled me in close. I snuggled against his chest and felt like this must be heaven. It was a perfect fit. And it was enough for now.

Getting Comfortable

We held hands in the car all the way back to my house. I could barely concentrate on driving. I hadn't had time to clean my garage (I have to admit it was a true disaster) so I parked in the front drive. My daughter was outside cleaning her car. Many people have commented how much my daughter and I look alike. What they don't know is that she looks incredibly like I did at her age. Mike took one look at her and said, "She looks just like you!"

"At least the me you remember," I laughed. "She's the same age I was when you and I met."

The three of us went out for dinner and Mike was remarkably attentive, not only to me, but to Darcie as well. He made sure our drinks were replenished and that we had gotten enough to eat. I know this sounds trivial, but to Darcie and me it was huge. It had just been the 2 of us fending for ourselves for so long that we were unused to being pampered. I was becoming more and more smitten with each passing moment. I tried to tell myself to get a grip but myself wasn't listening.

We went back to the house and changed into comfy clothes - shorts and T-shirts despite it being November. Mike sat in an overstuffed chair and was working on a Sudoku puzzle while I sat on the ottoman and looked over his shoulder. I had never done Sudoku so I asked him to teach me. Being so close to him made me tingle with excitement. Keep in mind I had been alone for 6 years. It should also be revealed at this point that I am Italian and very touchy/feely. I couldn't keep from touching Mike - his arm, his shoulder, his hair. I asked if he minded the fact that I couldn't keep my hands off of him and he laughed and said no, he didn't mind at all. In fact, he was enjoying it. He had been alone for a few years himself.

The sexual tension was building to a palpable level when Darcie finally went to bed.

The Big Day

Finally, the big day arrived. It was November 3, 2005. I spent the entire day putting finishing touches on my house. I spent an extreme amount of time prepping. I took a long shower, shaved with extra care and put lotion all over my body. I even spent a lot of time on my hair and make up. Well, it was as good as it gets. I took a deep breath and headed for the airport.

I was a bundle of nerves and excitement as I sat in my car outside of the airport terminal waiting for the call from Mike announcing his arrival. I must have jumped three feet when the phone finally rang. "Oh, my gosh. You're actually here. Where are you?"

"I'm just walking out of baggage claim. Where are you?"

"I'm outside. Walk out the door and tell me what you see."

"I see orange cones."

By this time I was nearly jumping out of my skin. "Turn left, I can see the cones from here."

I got out of my car and started walking his direction. Trying to sound calm I asked, "What are you wearing?" Just then I saw him in the distance (at least I thought it was him).

"I have on a maroon shirt."

Yep, that was him. Despite being in a skirt and heeled sandals, I started to run toward him. All pretense of calm left me as I jumped into his arms and starting kissing his face. I couldn't believe what I was doing nor could I stop myself. He laughed and wrapped his arms around me. In that incredible, unbelievable, magical moment I knew my life had changed forever.

"You're here, you're here, you're finally here," I babbled.

Then, unbelievably, my phone rang. It was a business call that I had to answer. We walked to my car as I tried to carry on a technical conversation with a brain that was buzzing across the galaxy. I ended the call as quickly as possible and turned my focus to the most handsome man I could imagine. Mike was as gorgeous ever - his smile melted me and his eyes - OMG, they were incredibly blue and sparkling. I had forgotten the power of his eyes.

For the life of me, I can't recall the conversation we had in the car on the way to my house. I only remember the feeling in my stomach, like a million butterflies. I swear I felt like I was 15 again and going on my first date.

Back in Time

This blogging process is taking a little longer than I had hoped so I am going to speed the story line a bit. I will add details in future posts if they are relevant to the present.

In light of the escalated story, it's time to take a step back for a little more background. Mike, Paul and I became pretty good friends during the school year '74-'75. Mike was crowned Homecoming King while I sat with his sister and watched and mooned (does that word still mean the same thing these days?).
Mike's sister, who was a sophomore, and I played basketball together but I never spoke of my crush on her brother. Mike and I continued to study Chemistry together and continued to have profound and heartfelt discussions. Still, he didn't ask me out and still, I just smiled and resigned myself to being his friend and confidante. Mike and Paul graduated in May of '75. Paul and I kept in touch over the summer but I didn't see Mike before he left for college.

Then in the summer of '77, I was living in an apartment off-campus and lo and behold Mike came back into my life. I stayed in Florida to go to college and I didn't live too far from our hometown. Paul and Mike would come to see me and we would go to soccer games and discos (remember those?). At the time, I was too self-conscious to enjoy dancing (although I had 13 years of ballet training) but I would have gone anywhere with Mike. The drinking age was 18 back then so we all did our share of partying. I wouldn't call it dating because we were always with a group but Mike and I got closer than I could have ever dreamed. Then he left for college and dropped out of my life once more.

Getting Closer

The days went by and Mike and I continued to email each other. We had several nice phone conversations as well. As November 3rd approached, my excitement level increased to such a degree that I swear, I really was a giddy little school girl once again. Although I kept telling myself not to have expectations, I hate to admit that I was fantasizing about the possiblities. Then I reminded myself that he lived in Denver and I lived in Dallas. There was no way either one of us was interested in a long distance relationship. Well, at least I could have a nice long fantasy weekend, pretending that I was actually dating someone. After all, I hadn't really dated since my divorce 6 years earlier. In fact, I was resigned to spending the rest of my years as a single woman and that was just fine with me. Love was highly over-rated and romanticized. In my opinion, there was really no such thing as love anyway, at least not in the sense of a man and a woman. That thing we so eagerly called love was just a need to have another person make us feel good about ourselves.

My emotional whiplash was exhausting so I finally decided to just be casual and let whatever would happen, happen. You'll laugh when you hear how it actually turned out. Talk about naive!

Travel Plans

It wasn't long before Mike and I were on the phone discussing his travel plans. He had booked the Thursday flight. I could barely believe it; after 28 years, Mike was coming back into my life. To say I was excited would be quite the understatement. My mind was racing with all the things I had to do before his arrival in less than 3 weeks - redecorate my house, get a face lift, a tummy tuck and a tan, lose 20 pounds! Well, back to reality - I could at least clean up my house and maybe, with a lot of effort, drop 2 or 3 pounds. But mostly, I needed to get a grip. I remembered the huge crush I had on Mike in high school and I wondered how I would feel seeing him again after all these years.

Paul, who by now knew that Mike and I were planning a get together, sent me pictures from the reunion. I anxiously scanned through all of them until I saw him. He was as gorgeous as I remembered. He epitomized the belief that men get more handsome and distinguished as they age. Now that I knew how little he had changed I started to fret over what he would think of me. My brain still thought I was 17 but my body belied the years. Well, no time for concern, I was getting more and more anxious to see him.