Warm Hands, Warm Heart

I read a very interesting article this morning regarding how temperature affects our behavior and our attitude toward others - Hot cuppa makes you feel good about others.

It started with this intriguing first line:

Our judgement of someone's character can be influenced by something as simple as the temperature of a drink held in our hands, say US researchers.

It went on to describe how people assessed others after holding something warm or holding something cold.

The participants assessed the person as significantly "warmer" if they had previously held the warm cup of coffee rather than the iced cup of coffee.

It went on:

In a second study, participants held heated or frozen therapeutic packs as part of a product evaluation study and then were told they could receive a gift certificate for a friend or a gift for themselves.

Those who held the hot pack were more likely to ask for the gift certificate, while those who held the frozen pack tended to keep the gift for themselves.

"It appears that the effect of physical temperature is not just on how we see others, it affects our own behaviour as well," says Bargh.

"Physical warmth can make us see others as warmer people, but also cause us to be warmer - more generous and trusting - as well."

So what does all this have to do with long-distance relationships? Well, as we are painfully aware, we don't often get to share a warm embrace with our long-distance love. A great deal of our relationship takes place over the phone where it's impossible to see things like body language and facial expressions. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, especially when we may be stressed or tired.

Here's my personal plan, and dare I say recommendation for you to try as well. I'll make sure I have a warm drink in hand whenever there's the slightest chance that Mike and I will have a stressful conversation. And if a regular conversation takes an unexpected and relationship-endangering turn, I'll make a fast cup of tea in the microwave. That way, I'll be able to give Mike the benefit of the doubt and I'll be more loving in my words as well.

So why did it take researchers so long to figure out what my grandma used to say to me when I was a kid - "warm hands, warm heart"!