Long Distance Relationships

Certainly long distance relationships are not age specific but a large number of these couples are in college. Both my son and my daughter have experience with LDRs.

I read this article today and was impressed with the wisdom and maturity of the sentiments.

Young couples experience challenges in relationships - Life/styles: "Long distance relationships can add extra hardships to the commitments that couples make. Mary Mongarella, a junior at Quinnipiac, has been with her boyfriend for several years and has experienced these obstacles.

'I think that when you're away from each other, it definitely puts a strain on your relationship at the beginning [when you first go away,] but then you become even closer because you realize how strong your relationship is,' she said."

I very much agree with this young woman's assessment. My LDR is fast approaching the 3-year mark and although there are still tears with every separation, in many ways it's easier now than it was in the beginning. As well as realizing how strong our relationship is, it's easier to accept the times we are apart because of how magnificent our times together are.

So for anyone wondering if a long distance relationship can work, the answer is a definite yes!

Life's About Changes

There's a country song, How Can I Help You Say Goodbye,by Patty Loveless that says, "Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same". I'm all in favor of keeping life fresh, but often, the changes leave me melancholy. This past week I left my daughter at the airport so she could return to her sophomore year of college in New York - a long way from home. My sweet Mike is about to have a similar experience this week. He's taking a road trip with his son who he will then leave behind for his freshman year of college. In fact, they're driving as I write this post.

These changes are bittersweet for both Mike and me. As I've mentioned before, we live in two worlds - one with our friends and children in different cities and the one we share with each other. The passage of time is our path to finally being together and yet, it is that same ticking clock that separates us from our children and the lives we have so comfortably lived these many years. I'm ready to make the exchange, to spend the rest of my life with Mike, but I can't help missing my "babies". We will both experience a period of the empty-nest before we can make the final transition to a life with each other. The one thing I am certain of, is that is one more of life's challenges that we will face together, supporting each other and strengthening our bond.

Back in Time

This blogging process is taking a little longer than I had hoped so I am going to speed the story line a bit. I will add details in future posts if they are relevant to the present.

In light of the escalated story, it's time to take a step back for a little more background. Mike, Paul and I became pretty good friends during the school year '74-'75. Mike was crowned Homecoming King while I sat with his sister and watched and mooned (does that word still mean the same thing these days?).
Mike's sister, who was a sophomore, and I played basketball together but I never spoke of my crush on her brother. Mike and I continued to study Chemistry together and continued to have profound and heartfelt discussions. Still, he didn't ask me out and still, I just smiled and resigned myself to being his friend and confidante. Mike and Paul graduated in May of '75. Paul and I kept in touch over the summer but I didn't see Mike before he left for college.

Then in the summer of '77, I was living in an apartment off-campus and lo and behold Mike came back into my life. I stayed in Florida to go to college and I didn't live too far from our hometown. Paul and Mike would come to see me and we would go to soccer games and discos (remember those?). At the time, I was too self-conscious to enjoy dancing (although I had 13 years of ballet training) but I would have gone anywhere with Mike. The drinking age was 18 back then so we all did our share of partying. I wouldn't call it dating because we were always with a group but Mike and I got closer than I could have ever dreamed. Then he left for college and dropped out of my life once more.