How My Hobby Helps My Long-Distance Relationship

I sing in an International champion Sweet Adelines Chorus - The RichTones, here in Dallas. For those of you unfamiliar with the genre, it's female barbershop. You can learn more about it here - Sweet Adelines International. We are once again preparing for International competition that takes place October 20-24, 2009 in Nashville, TN and we are seeking our 5th gold medal!

There are several reasons why this is significant but I'm only going to touch on one today. One of the categories on which we're judged is Expression... how well we're expressing the meaning of the music we're singing. Believe it or not, there are many people out there who sing well technically but can't seem to portray the emotion of the lyrics. I don't really have a problem here, in large part due to my long-distance relationship.

Bear with me a moment while I give you a brief primer on barbershop contest music. There are two types of contest pieces - ballads and uptunes. You can probably guess that uptunes are fast-paced, happy, peppy numbers. Ballads, on the other hand, are by definition, slow songs that tell a story, most often a love story.

And here's where my LDR comes into play. One of our contest pieces opens with the words, "Though you're far away, you're always in my heart." As you can imagine, these words hit very close to home for me. In fact, the whole time I'm singing this song, I'm thinking about Mike and the emotion pours out of me. Later lyrics talk about how my heart beats each time we meet. At that point I think about how I feel when I'm at the airport waiting to see my sweet love's face once again.

The amazing thing is, by the end of rehearsal I feel closer to Mike and more in love than ever.

There's a point to all this and a helpful tip. A great way to stay connected and close to your faraway love is to keep the loving feelings at the forefront of your mind. If you're upset or discouraged with your sweetie or the relationship, do something that reminds you of the loving times you've had together. Even if you're not a singer, just listening to a love song while looking at a picture of your love can be enough. Try it, you will be pleasantly surprised how well it works.

A Long-Distance Love Story

I'm always searching the Internet for stories that inspire and remind me that long-distance relationships can and do succeed. I do this not so much for myself - I'm secure in the knowledge that my LDR works and will continue to do so. I do it for those who waver in the decision whether to begin one or stay in one.

The link below is a sweet long-distance love story that should encourage us all. I'm wishing the very best for Kathleen and her love.

my teacups in peony: it's a love story: kathleen

The Maroon - Long-distance relationships can be worthwhile

The Maroon - Long-distance relationships can be worthwhile

This is a well-written post by a young woman in a successful long-distance relationship. As she so aptly points out, LDRs can be very rewarding if we allow them to be. It's just a matter of accentuating the positive and down-playing the negative.

For some tips on finding the positive aspects of a long-distance relationship, visit http://www.alongdistancelove.com/ and sign up for the free report.

Couple Who Wrote Letters During WWII Celebrate 60th Anniversary | The Frisky

Couple Who Wrote Letters During WWII Celebrate 60th Anniversary The Frisky

Ok, I go months without writing and then write two posts in one day. I had already written my post when I came across this article and couldn't resist sharing it. Besides, it kind of shares today's theme of separation.

Although long-distance relationships are admittedly tough, we are so blessed to live in the technological age of communication that we do. I came home the other night to find my daughter and one of her friends on a laptop using Skype to talk to their friend who is studying for a semester in Australia. The lag time was an annoyance (about 5 seconds) but they could see each other while they talked - and it's free!

How many of us could have survived the challenges faced by Pat and Geoff Bunyan in this article? My hat is off to them and I wish them many more happy years together.

Separations

Another summer has slipped by and as always, I hate to see it nearing an end. Summer has always been my favorite time of year. Yes, I know it's hot, but when my kids were in school, it was the only time of year that we could relax and spend truly leisure time together. There were no uniforms to wash, no homework to get done, no scheduled activities like basketball games, scouts, band practice. Don't get me wrong, I loved all the activities my kids participated in, but I also enjoyed the downtime of summer.

And now, the end of summer marks an even more profound time as my daughter prepares to return to New York for her junior year of college. I have so enjoyed our time together and I will miss her terribly. You'd think by now, I would be used to the separations from those I love so dearly. And although it is a tiny bit easier than it used to be, the sadness envelopes me nonetheless.

One consolation, Mike will be coming to visit on August 26th. He's staying nearly a week this time so I will wrap myself in his arms for comfort. Then, alone again.

At least the next 2 months will be incredibly busy as my chorus prepares for International competition in Nashville in October. Mike will be there too. It's so amazing to have a supportive partner.

I know many of you are in the process of sending your kids off to school, some for the first time, be it first grade or freshman year of college. Some of you are becoming empty nesters. As someone who has been doing this long-distance thing as both a parent and a partner, take my advice, stay busy and surround yourself with friends. And start counting the days until Thanksgiving!

Jewzel and Dwayne - JamaicaObserver.com

Jewzel and Dwayne - JamaicaObserver.com

This is such a sweet story. It demonstrates the power of true love even though many years and many miles may come between.

Jewzel says of their long distance relationship, "I would never tell anybody that it is easy, but if you pray and ask God to help you go through, then you will manage. I mean there are going to be times when you are actually going to be fed up, but if you press on and if you actually believe and know that you love the person, you will put in all that you can," she said."

Remembering Our Veterans

This is not just any Saturday. There are several things about this day that make it different from most. For instance, today is my little baby girl's birthday. You mom's know how it is, she'll always be my baby even though today, she turns 20!

And today, this weekend actually, Mike is golfing in a tournament. I'm so glad he 's getting some time to relax and have some fun. But it's strange not being able to talk to him. And when the Nuggets play the Lakers tonight, we won't be watching the game together.

But mostly what makes this day stand out, is the meaning of this weekend. This is a weekend to remember and give thanks to our veterans - the brave men and women who fight for us and our way of life. Those of us in long-distance relationships know the heartache of being separated from the one we love. I can't imagine the anguish of having my love in the military. Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself because Mike and I aren't together, I'll remember how blessed and fortunate I am that I get to see him, hold him, smell him, and wrap myself in his arms once a month.

To all you veterans - THANK YOU, bless you, and to our current troops, may God bring you safely home.

When Your Long-Distance Love Is Ill

I find myself in a sad yet very familiar state of mind. My poor Mike, who rarely gets sick, has a bad cold. In fact, I think he got it from me during my recent visit, except I don't have it nearly as bad as he does.

One of my constant struggles in this long-distance relationship world is wanting to be wherever I'm not. I've talked about this before - when I'm in Dallas, I want to be in Denver and when I'm in Denver, I'm thinking of all the things I should be doing in Dallas (not the whole time, of course, just when Mike is at work and I'm alone at his house). But while my sweet love is not feeling well, all I want to do is rush to his side and take care of him.

I want so much to be there to comfort him, to make sure he gets plenty of liquids and plenty of uninterrupted rest. I want to fluff his pillows and rub his neck. I know this sounds a little corny but it's especially hard to be apart when the one I love is hurting.

To make matters worse, Mike can't talk without serious coughing and completely losing his voice. So our conversations have been kept very short, with me doing most of the talking, rambling actually.

There's a feeling of helplessness, a slight guilt, that stays with me, even after the brief conversations end. We should be together! It's times like these that I have to work at not being sad. I remind myself how lucky we are to have one another, even if we aren't in the same place. Just knowing how much I want to be there for him is a reminder of the depth of our love. So I make an entry in my grateful journal - I'm grateful to have a love that touches me deep in my soul. I know I am truly blessed.

More of Life's Milestones

In yesterday's post I mentioned that Mike's daughter graduated from college over the weekend. That in itself, is a major life event. But it was not to be the only momentous event last week.

Soon after I arrived on Wednesday, Mike received a phone call from his daughter's long-time boyfriend requesting that Mike meet him after work. Of course, Mike was hesitant since I had just arrived but it sounded important so he agreed. Can you guess what he wanted? He was requesting permission to propose.

Two days later, Mike's daughter came home from her last final exam to find the stairway filled with long-stem roses, rose petals, and candles. Their favorite song was playing softly in the background. And at the top of the stairs was her sweet love, on bended knee, with a gorgeous ring. Being a very close-knit family, we were invited to witness and share in this touching and romantic moment. Of course I cried. It was all so sweet, ending with a champaign toast.

So now we begin planning a wedding, ironically, not our own.

Time Marches On

I recently returned from another trip to Denver. This time, it was to attend Mike's daughter's college graduation. I never cease marveling over the march of time. Yes, Mike and I acknowledge monthiverseries. We recognize that another birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. has come and gone and we are still living in different states. It's not like we don't realize that time is passing. But at our ages, the majority of our momentous events are lived through our children.

Mike's daughter was a freshman in college when we first got together, so sitting at her graduation was a not so gentle reminder that the years are slipping by. My own daughter is now half-way through her undergraduate work. In fact, she turns 20 on Saturday! I will no longer have teenage children. That may not seem like a big deal but I truly don't feel old enough to have children in their 20s. It seems I was just that old myself.

But there is a positive side to this as well. The relentless passage of time shows me that I've come a long way in managing the emotions of a long-distance relationship. Emotions that I thought would overwhelm me in the beginning. And despite the challenges, or perhaps because of them, our love is still strong.

How I Found Mr. Absolutely Right

How I Found Mr. Absolutely Right. I read this post today and loved the story. Cindy Parksley wrote with heart and humor about her long-distance relationship. It's always encouraging to hear from others who are making their LDR work.

Embrace The Quality Time

I had a conversation with a friend last Sunday. She's divorced and has 2 young daughters. She's dating a man who is also divorced with 2 young daughters. We were discussing our relationships and all the challenges we face and ironically, she reminded me of one of the major benefits of being in a long-distance relationship.

She and her SO actually work together and see each other nearly every day. At first glance, I would be extremely envious of that. But then she said that despite that, they never really have any time together. Their lives are a balancing act of children, work, ex's...

For Mike and I, our time together is almost exclusively devoted to each other. Yes, we often have obligations that require our time, but for the most part, we participate together. Even when he comes for one of my shows and I'm busy for most of the day, we have dinner together and I know he's in the audience which lifts my performance to a higher level.

So actually, the four or five days a month that Mike and I spend together offer us more time than a lot of people have in proximal relationships. I'm guessing if you took a good look at your own LDR you would find the same thing is true.

So embrace your time together and be sure to make every moment count!

For more helpful tips, be sure to sign up for my free mini eBook 7 Tips for Embracing the Positives of a Long-Distance Relationship at alongdistancelove.com.

Another Milestone

Yesterday was another milestone in The LDR Adventure of Mike and Ann. It was our 3.5 year mark. I find that so incredible. Not the fact that we've lasted three and a half years together, just that that much time has passed since we hopped on this crazy ride.

I remember when we first began this relationship, I thought my heart would break every time we had to part. I counted the weeks, days, and minutes until our next visit. I truly didn't know how long I could go on feeling that way.

I'm happy to say, that the separations have become easier to deal with. You might be thinking that it's because our love is fading. Not true! Our love is as strong and deep as ever. I would even say it's stronger than it was in the beginning because of all we have had to face to make this thing work. And that's the same reason that it's gotten easier to tolerate. We know without question that we are there for each other and we have the confidence that we can deal with anything that comes our way. And trust me, there have been BIG hurdles tossed in our path.

We still speak with each other every day and we still appreciate each other. We still treat each other with respect. We still want more for each other than we do for ourselves. These are some of the keys to a successful long-distance relationship (and any relationship, for that matter).

So for those of you who may be just starting out, take heart. I know how much it can ache to be apart. But remember, each passing day brings you closer together and it really does get easier.

Speed Bumps And Pitfalls

I know it's been a LONG time since I've posted. Like so many people, the economy has reached deeply into my life and I have had to spend the majority of my time figuring out how to survive.

Besides, I find myself in the difficult position that so many writers share. The most poignant things I want to write about are also the most personal and involve others than me alone. I once read a book about the greatest challenge to writers being the fear of offending their loved ones. I have to admit, that fear is my greatest obstacle. And when you throw in the ubiquitous and eternal nature of the Internet, my trepidation increases exponentially. However, I also have a strong desire to help my fellow travelers navigate the journey of a long-distance relationship. So I will continue to search for a happy compromise.

That said, here's an update on my LDR front. Mike and I just celebrated 40 months together! We've recently had some major speed bumps but I'm happy to say, our chasis stayed intact. We have both been faced with some of life's biggest stressors. I know we're not alone or unique but that knowledge doesn't lighten the load.

I could go into all the issues of late but I'll stick to just one for this post. As I've written before, Mike's son is in his freshman year of college out of state. His daughter, who is a senior in college, moved out of the house in January. She even took the cats (good news for my allergies). Now Mike finds himself in a true empty nest - at least until summer. It's been a period of transition and learning for him. We talk on the phone - he's alone in his house, I'm alone in my mine - and we wonder why the heck we're not together. Of course, we both know the answers as they have not changed, but still, it seems unfair. I know he would like nothing better than for me to pack up and move to Denver. I, of course, wish he would pack up and move to Dallas. As the months, and yes, years of our LDR go by, the time for a decision is fast approaching. Neither one of us wants to continue apart indefinitely.

The thing I want to share with all of you is how wonderful Mike has been by not pressuring me. Neither have I pressured him. This is not just a potential pitfall but could turn into a relationship killer if you're not careful. It's easy to say, "If you loved me you'd..." but when it comes to turning one's life upside down, nothing is easy. Try to remember that it is not a reflection of the depth of love and committment. Be understanding and patient and your relationship will remain strong.

Valentine's Day Gift Idea

So the holiday for lover's is less than a week away and I'm sure for many, it is bittersweet. I am so very fortunate this year because Mike is coming to spend Valentine's Day with me. It's fortunate that it falls on a Saturday this year. It should give more long-distance lovers a chance to be together.

If by some sad circumstance you will not get to be with the one you love, I've found a gift that is romantic and sweet and can be personalized just for you - Personalized Message in a Bottle. This same site that I stumbled upon has lots of wonderful and romantic gifts so browse it and I'm sure you'll find the perfect expression of your love. I would have shared it sooner but I just found it myself. I know the days are short but it's not too late to order in time for Valentine's Day if you hurry.

My wish for all of you is that you get to be together for a day of love, romance and the sheer (and rare) pleasure of each other's company. I'd love to hear from you about your plans. Please fill out the survey on the left and leave a comment as well.

Long-Distance Forever?

Sometimes it seems like my long-distance relationship will remain long-distance forever. And sometimes that doesn't seem like such a bad idea. I've been on my own for so long now that I sometimes wonder if Mike and I can really forge a life together. There are so many sacrifices to be made that it frightens me to even consider stepping off that ledge.

And then I think about how incredible it feels to be in his arms. And how much I love to hear him laugh. And how long I can just gaze into his beautiful eyes. And I realize that somehow, we will have to find a way.

I'm inspired by a woman in my chorus who truly put it all on the line. Like the rest of us, she fell in love with someone geographically undesireable. She bravely and boldy packed up her life and moved to Mexico to be with him. I admire her spirit and hope that when the time is right, I can make the transition with as much gusto as she did.

Left Behind

The holidays, family issues, and illness have taken their toll on me to start the new year so I haven't had a chance to write lately.

For the past three years, I have accompanied Mike to his annual sales meeting at various locations in the U.S. We've been to Hilton Head, Austin, and Orlando. We've always extended the stay over the weekend to enjoy a little getaway. Unfortunately, this past year his company was sold and the new ownership does not permit spouses or significant others to be part of the event. I don't know if this has always been their policy or if it's a sign of the troubled economic times, but it's sad either way. There is an awards dinner at the end of the 3-day event to honor those who have performed to a higher standard and Mike has consistently been a top performer. It's so much more meaningful to have our loved ones share in those moments and it has always been the highlight of the week. This year, there will be no family or friends to cheer the winners... just co-workers.

All of this is to say, Mike is away right now and I'm not with him. They even extended the event an extra day so this year, with travel, he'll be occupied for 5 days. He's incredibly busy and has to share a room with a co-worker so our talk time is VERY limited - maybe 10 minutes a day. Since we normally talk during Mike's commute (one hour each way), I'm definitely suffering from withdrawal.

It may seem odd to talk about Mike being away when in truth, he's always "away". But somehow, this is different. At least when he's in Denver, I can picture him in his car, his home, his office. I've been to all those places so I feel a part of them. But now he's somewhere I can't visualize and it makes him seem a little farther away.

I've decided to spend the extra time working and trying to catch up after the holidays. Writing about Mike keeps him in my mind and helps me stay connected. I'll sure be glad when he gets back home.

The LDR Dilemma - Here or There

I swear I don't know where the time goes. I can't believe I haven't written a post since Thanksgiving! And yet, the time apart from Mike seems to drag.

For a quick catch up, Mike came for a visit last weekend. My chorus had a holiday show on the 13th and he came for that. It was great having him in the audience but unfortunately, it meant we didn't get to spend much time together. The show went very well - our best ever, in fact.

Now I'm facing that ever-challenging dilemma that plagues long-distance relationships. This time it has to do with New Year's. My daughter's home for Christmas break and will be here until January 10th and of course, I want to spend as much time with her as possible. I also want to spend New Year's with Mike. Being torn between 2 locations is, for me, the most heart-wrenching part of our LDR. I know we will eventually have to make some decisions but every time I think about it, it makes my stomach hurt.

So I think I will end up going to Denver around the 30th and coming back on the 4th. At least we will get to bring in the New Year together even though I will miss some of Mike's family holiday events the previous weekend. If only I had that Star Trek transporter in my garage!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here it is... the day before Thanksgiving, and I'm facing another holiday away from my sweet Mike. Are you facing the same sad situation? This is actually our fourth Thanksgiving spent in separate states! And no, it doesn't get any easier. Yes, I've resigned myself to our plight but it makes it no less heart-wrenching.

To add to my separation anxiety, my daughter did not get to come home. With the current economic turmoil, we couldn't justify spending $700 for 2 days at home - despite how important I think it is for family to be together. I wish the airlines would have a special Thanksgiving airfare for college students but that's a whole other topic.

So what do I plan to do? How will I manage the day? I'm going to spend it surrounded by friends and family who will help distract me. Tonight I'm going to bake some delicious Pumpkin Pie Cakes. Tomorrow I will get up, go to church, and most importantly, remember the purpose of the day. I will write down everything I have to be thankful for. The list is long - not the least of which are my loved ones both near and far and the many blessings I have in my life.

And Mike, a special thanks to you for bringing such joy to my life, even at a distance.

I wish all of you the blessings of family and friends, good food and fellowship, and love.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Paradise Lost

Boo hoo. I'm back from Paradise - an amazing week of sunsets, long walks on the beach, breakfasts on the balcony, incredible seafood and even a sunrise (I'm not a morning person!). And all with the love of my life. It was the perfect anniversary trip. We're already trying to figure out when we can go back. And hopefully you'll forgive me for not posting like I said I would. The time flew by, so my apologies.

After spending such a wonderful week together it's harder than ever to be away from my sweet Mike. That's the hazard to glorious visits. You realize more than ever, how much you miss each other during the separations.

Now, I make it a point to emphasize the positive aspects of long-distance relationships. It's one of my main coping mechanisms. In fact, I even wrote a free report that's available on my website A Long Distance Love. If you have a moment please check it out. I think I need to go back and reread it to remind myself because I have to admit I'm feeling pretty melancholy right now.

Adding to my funk, is the fact that we have not planned our next visit. A big no-no in the LDR rule book. But with the holidays approaching and the increasing demands on our time (my rehearsal and performance schedule keeps me VERY busy during this time of year as does Mike's job) it's difficult to coordinate a time when we can eke out a long weekend. After 3 years of carrying on this crazy long-distance relationship thing, I have faith that something will work out. There was a time when I couldn't be so calm. Thankfully, I'm handling this, even though it's the first time in the relationship that we don't have a "next visit" to anticipate.

I really would love to get input from all of you about how you cope with post-visit anxiety. All of us in LDRs can use all the coping skills we can get - especially as the holidays loom ever closer.

The View

Well, the post from my Blackberry worked but I couldn't get the picture to work so here it is - the old-fashioned way... from my laptop. Let me just say that this picture does not do justice to the amazing colors. The water is varying shades of blues and emerald greens. The sand is sugar-white. You can see why I don't ever want to leave!

Blackberry On The Beach

What an absolutely amazing, incredible world we live in. And what a wonderful, beautiful day it is today. I have lots to share!

On Friday I took a plunge and bought a Blackberry Curve. I'll save the gory details of the problems I encountered for another day but all those issues aside, I love it! Just read on.

Today is also Mike's and my third anniversary together. We are actually sitting on the gorgeous, sugar sand beach in Destin, Florida right this very minute. Yes, I'm writing this post from my Blackberry. I'm not even sure how it's going to work but I'm giving it a try.

I'm also going to try to attach the picture I took from our balcony - also using the Blackberry. Please bear with me as I learn this technology.
Tonight, Mike and I have plans to dine at a restaraunt right on the beach.

I'll write all about this romantic getaway in the days ahead. Life just doesn't get any better than this!

Long Distance Relationships

Certainly long distance relationships are not age specific but a large number of these couples are in college. Both my son and my daughter have experience with LDRs.

I read this article today and was impressed with the wisdom and maturity of the sentiments.

Young couples experience challenges in relationships - Life/styles: "Long distance relationships can add extra hardships to the commitments that couples make. Mary Mongarella, a junior at Quinnipiac, has been with her boyfriend for several years and has experienced these obstacles.

'I think that when you're away from each other, it definitely puts a strain on your relationship at the beginning [when you first go away,] but then you become even closer because you realize how strong your relationship is,' she said."

I very much agree with this young woman's assessment. My LDR is fast approaching the 3-year mark and although there are still tears with every separation, in many ways it's easier now than it was in the beginning. As well as realizing how strong our relationship is, it's easier to accept the times we are apart because of how magnificent our times together are.

So for anyone wondering if a long distance relationship can work, the answer is a definite yes!

Nights in Rodanthe

I'm back from Denver and although I have a very busy week ahead of me, I'm still struggling with being away from Mike again.

Typically, we don't go to movies when we're together. To some extent it feels like a waste of our very precious "in-person" time. In fact, we have only been to 2 movies in nearly 3 years. That's not to say we don't watch movies. We just prefer to rent them and watch from home where we can be snuggled up together and chat if we want, pause if we want, you know... all the stuff that makes DVD technology so great.

Well, for our third anniversary (I can't believe we've been doing this for 3 years!) my sweet Mike has rented us a condo in Destin, Florida for an entire week (more on this later). How glorious is that! So anyway, I was in the mood for a romantic chick flick with a beach setting and Nights in Rodanthe seemed to fit the bill. I had no idea at the time that it involved a long-distance relationship. I don't want to give away the plot but suffice it to say that although I enjoyed the beach scenery, the movie was disheartening and tugs particularly hard at the heartstrings of those of us in LDRs.

I'm not suggesting you don't see it, I'm just telling you to be prepared and don't allow your emotions to be over-whelmed with "what-ifs".

Warm Hands, Warm Heart

I read a very interesting article this morning regarding how temperature affects our behavior and our attitude toward others - Hot cuppa makes you feel good about others.

It started with this intriguing first line:

Our judgement of someone's character can be influenced by something as simple as the temperature of a drink held in our hands, say US researchers.

It went on to describe how people assessed others after holding something warm or holding something cold.

The participants assessed the person as significantly "warmer" if they had previously held the warm cup of coffee rather than the iced cup of coffee.

It went on:

In a second study, participants held heated or frozen therapeutic packs as part of a product evaluation study and then were told they could receive a gift certificate for a friend or a gift for themselves.

Those who held the hot pack were more likely to ask for the gift certificate, while those who held the frozen pack tended to keep the gift for themselves.

"It appears that the effect of physical temperature is not just on how we see others, it affects our own behaviour as well," says Bargh.

"Physical warmth can make us see others as warmer people, but also cause us to be warmer - more generous and trusting - as well."

So what does all this have to do with long-distance relationships? Well, as we are painfully aware, we don't often get to share a warm embrace with our long-distance love. A great deal of our relationship takes place over the phone where it's impossible to see things like body language and facial expressions. This can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, especially when we may be stressed or tired.

Here's my personal plan, and dare I say recommendation for you to try as well. I'll make sure I have a warm drink in hand whenever there's the slightest chance that Mike and I will have a stressful conversation. And if a regular conversation takes an unexpected and relationship-endangering turn, I'll make a fast cup of tea in the microwave. That way, I'll be able to give Mike the benefit of the doubt and I'll be more loving in my words as well.

So why did it take researchers so long to figure out what my grandma used to say to me when I was a kid - "warm hands, warm heart"!

Playing House in Denver

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written a post. I am just way too busy right now. So this is just to let everyone know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Actually, I'm in Denver with my sweetie.

I came out to help Mike host his annual Fantasy Football League Monday Night Game. Denver played the Patriots (or should I say, got creamed by the Patriots). I made meatball sandwiches, baked rotini, pumpkin pie cake and mini cheesecakes. Despite the horrible game (for the Denver fans), the food was a big hit and it was fun "playing house" with Mike. What made it extra special was my son came out, too. He had never been to Mike's house and it was good for him to see where his mom lives the other half of her life.

This is kind of a long visit for me. I arrived last Friday and will be staying until Saturday or Sunday. I'd stay longer but I have obligations in Dallas that require my return. Happily, I will only be home a week before I leave for our anniversary trip to Destin, Florida. Three years! Unbelievable! I never thought I could do this LDR thing this long. But when you're in love...

Request For Poems and Quotes

I'm on a quest seeking poems and quotes relating to long-distance relationships. If you have something to submit, please send me an email: ann@alongdistancelove.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Is Cursive Dying?

This may seem like a rather odd topic for a blog on long-distance relationships but keep reading and the logic will make sense.

Yesterday, one of my friends told me she was having a discussion with some parents about education. She was shocked when these parents revealed that their children were no longer being taught to write in cursive. Granted this is second-hand information but it got me thinking. After getting over my own shock, I was saddened for two reasons.

The most obvious concern is that the ability to transmit information with paper and pen will decrease with the passing years. Not to mention, are we forgetting the little thrill we all get when there is something in our mailbox besides bills and junk mail? What will become of the gentility of a thank you note? Perhaps everyone will use print as opposed to cursive when writing by hand, but it will certainly be less elegant.

Setting aside the deteriorating ability to write, what will become of future generations' ability to read letters of historic value and interest? Will the love letters of the past, so carefully and lovingly crafted by hand, be converted into digital text to be read on a computer screen? Or worse, will they be lost forever, relegated to a forgotten storage room because few people can actually read them anyway?

One of the sweetest, most romantic things we can do for our long-distance sweetheart, is sit down and take the time to write a love letter by hand. There's something beyond definition that occurs when you write down your feelings by hand. Your entire body participates - your brain, your heart and your hand - strengthening your feelings and your bond to your faraway love. That same undefinable bond traverses the miles and fills your beloved with feelings of love and closeness when he or she reads your heartfelt words. It is such a wonderful way to stay connected despite the distance and I think it is so sad that it may slip away from us.

Now, having said all that, I have a confession. I was writing thank you notes for the gifts I received for my recent birthday and I was ashamed at how much trouble I had. Not with the expressions of gratitude, but with my ability to write legibly and without errors. I need to make an effort to write on a more regular basis. And what better way than to write to my dear Mike and let him know what he means to me. Won't you join me? Send a love letter to your sweetie today!

My eBook is Online

I know I haven't posted for awhile but I have a VERY good reason. I have been working diligently on the final edits of my eBook, "How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work". Long days and sleepless nights have gone into this project so I am thrilled to announce that the eagerly-awaited book is finally done and is online at www.alongdistancelove.com. Please take a minute to check it out.

I have learned so much while writing this. First their were the technical aspects of publishing an eBook. But more importantly, writing it gave me the opportunity to really think about my long-distance relationship - all the wonderful and positive things, and the unique challenges we all face when we participate in LDRs.

One of the really great things about pursuing this topic to build a business upon is that it reminds me how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful man in my life, despite the fact that he is usually 900 miles away. Focusing on how we are able to make our LDR work gives me inspiration to teach others to have the same kind of happy and fulfilling relationship that Mike and I share. And lastly, it keeps me very busy and helps the days pass quickly between visits.

Speaking of that, I will be going to Denver two weeks from today. Today is also a milestone in that it is our 35th monthiversary.

Mike has made special plans for our third anniversary next month so come back to get more details. It may give you some ideas on what you can do to add more romance to your LDR.

Social Networking

Mike left on Tuesday and I'm struggling with the separation... again. I had hoped things would get easier as I got used to the distance. After all, we've been doing this for nearly 3 years. In some ways they have gotten a little better. For instance, I've learned not to start crying the day before the visit ends. Rather, I try to enjoy every precious moment and save my tears for the hug goodbye at the airport.

On the other hand, it's harder for me to get back to my "normal" routine after a visit. I find myself questioning why we can't just be in the same place... together... for the rest of our days. Of course, the answers are still the same and the same frustrations rush over me like a giant wave and I feel like I'm drowning in sadness. It will be more than a year at least before we can consider moves.

I'm always looking for new ways to cope with the anxiety. Along those lines, I discovered a new social network called Ning and I decided to create a network for long distance relationships. It can be found at longdistancelove.ning.com. Hop on over and check it out. Join in and share with others who are dealing with the same issues as you. Sign up is free!

The Best Birthday Cake Ever

It's been very busy at my house ever since Mike got here which is why I haven't written for a few days. In my last post I was describing my traumatic visit to the jewelry store where I had to leave my engagement ring to have a missing diamond replaced. I'm happy to announce that true to their word, it was ready for me on Friday. It was very fortunate because Mike was here and was able to put it back on my finger as always.

We have had such an amazing time together. Last post I also hinted that I had a big event approaching. Well, I had a momentous birthday on Saturday. I must sound like a drama queen but this particularly birthday was kind of difficult for me - not so much because of the age, but more because I didn't expect my life to be where it is at this point. But I'm trying to focus on all the positives in my life and Mike is one of the biggest positives anyone could imagine.

He has been so incredibly sweet to me. As one of my birthday gifts, he made me a coconut cake from scratch. I LOVE coconut cake and haven't had one for longer than I can recall. It was the first scratch cake Mike had ever made and the first time a man had made a cake for me so I consider that rather significant. It is yet one more demonstration of the incredible, fairy tale love Mike and I share.

I can't begin to describe how sad I will be tomorrow when I have to take him to the airport. It seems to be getting harder to say goodbye.

A Ring Is Just A Ring - Or Is It?

So yesterday's trip to the jewelry store was more traumatic than I anticipated. It turned out when I got there that the guy I needed to see was on a conference call that was scheduled to last for another hour and a half. I couldn't wait that long so the woman helping me suggested I give her the ring and she would take it back for him to look at it. Of course, I politely refused. I wasn't taking off my ring unless it was absolutely necessary.

Jason, came out from his call, and although he tried valiantly to hide his irritation, I sensed it nonetheless. Who can blame him? I must have seemed like a truly emotional nutcase - it's just a ring after all!

As corny as this sounds, it's not just a ring to me. Mike and I had a discussion along these lines several months ago when a friend of his was offered three times the price he had paid for an engagement ring he bought through an online auction. Mike asked if I would sell my ring if someone offered me three times the amount he had paid. I said, "No way!" Playing devil's advocate he said it was just a ring that could be replaced. I quickly informed him that, indeed, it was just ring, a simple piece of jewelry... when it was in the case at the store. Once he bought it and put in on my finger - and yes, he got down on one knee - it became a symbol of our love and commitment. I can be such a romantic sometimes.

The day Mike proposed I vowed I would never take that ring off unless he was around to put it back on my finger. That may seem excessive to some people, but it has a lot of meaning for us and our long-distance relationship. It's something special that symbolizes our trust and commitment to each other despite the miles between us.

So, there I was at the jewelry store, sans Mike and I had to take off my ring. As I said, it was harder than I expected and I started to cry. Jason had gone back to his call and fortunately, I was in the hands of a woman who was very sympathetic and understanding. When I left the store, I couldn't believe how sullen I felt. My shoulders were slumped, my eyes were downcast, and I kept rubbing my naked finger. I called Mike and desperately kept swallowing the lump in my throat and blinking back the tears that were stinging my eyes.

I won't know until Friday how long it will take to fix my ring (see yesterday's post, 9/15) but I'm hoping to have it back in time for my big event on Saturday. I'll tell you about that next time!